Saturday, January 28, 2006

Can I take any more?

With Mike going to 3rd Shift has really put a strain on me. I can't handle it. I can't handle being quiet all dam day. Its not in me to do that anymore. He's been wanting this for some ungodly fucking reason. And frankly, I can't handle it. I am too damn tired to think straight. I hate having to do almost everything. I mean, he does clean the cat box..whoo hooo. I don't get a break only when he is in school but then I still can't do anything like vacuum or clean when I want. I have to wait til' he leaves at 930 @ night before I can do anything but then I still can't vacuum. I am also tired of him playing musical shifts here. first, seconds, first then thirds. Make up your fucking mind already. It keeps changing every freakin month, I need dependability. I don't have a life. I can't have no friends over. Why can't I have a fucking life here? Oh...the internet such a good friend...NOT. But then again, I have no friends on here either. So WTF? Mom, that doesn't include don't start. My one friend Dawn, is so busy with her life and school. But I respect that. I am so freakin' alone right now. I know I am whining, I can't help it. I am fighting my stress demons here and guess who's winning? Bad enough I had to start taking my Paxil again cause of the bad PMS I get. I can't handle my emotions before I start. I wanna kill people.

Other news, got my income taxes done and filed. Yay!!! Hopefully I should get them by the 10th. Would be nice to go shoppin' for stuff. But I am not counting on it.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Wanna hear with what I've been going thru?

I've been dealing with my anxiety alot lately, with the bills and other things. I decided earlier this year to make my appt. and stick to it for the "Yearly" doctor. In which I have avoided for a couple of years now. I know...bad, bad. Oh well, who likes having their tata open to the world??? Shit not me. Well, I finally have a female doctor. Yay! She is awesome. Well, I finally go..I get there and I am her last patient. An hour and a half later I am walking out with a list of tests I have to have done. Along with my blood pressure being higher than normal. That kinda worried me. I've always had low blood pressure and now all of a sudden its higher? It has alot to do with whats going on in my life. Well, I requested to be tested for every thing. Something for peace of mind. I know in my mind that everything is cool. But the one thing that has been bothering me for the past couple of years is why I can't get pregnant. Its heartbreaking. I am not getting any younger here folks...something has to happen. Either I can't have anymore or just need a little help. I had help with my Son, so more than likely it will happen again. Oh and I was offered a better place to live too. Still in Moline, but a nicer place and I am honestly thinking about it. No garage but that is ok, there is a basement. Its thru a friend of mine. We will see, I really liked the layout of the house, it has two apartments upstairs and they are really quiet. Has a huge living room, a dining room, two bedrooms and a small kitchen Which is fine. I will have to go and see it again.


First night of him being on thirds, I crashed early. The second night, I stayed up until 1am...boy was I tired. Then last night, I turned the tv off and went to bed before midnight. I made a scrapbooking page of Madison, its so cute. Well, I need to figure something to do...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Do you watch?

Did anyone watch Law and Order:SVU tonight? OMG, it was heartwrenching. I tried and tried to figure out if that little girl was someone playing a joke all along. The bald headed dude kept saying that. But Olivia was determined and felt it was real. OMG. I am still shaking. And to find out that this little girl was real and in the end she was found alive. I had tears. That has never happened with this show for me.

I've been going to bed early only cause I am beat tired. Haven't had alot to talk about been really occupied with some crap. I can't deal with certain things right now so if it seems I am avoiding things, chances are...I am. Been hit with some really high bills, and just being stressed with things. Things will be alright, I just have to be positive. If I don't then I will go crazy....wanna go with me? My BF is on thirds, no biggie, just been awhile since he's worked this shift. I forgot the stress that comes with it. I don't expect him to help out as much as its really hard the first week back on thirds. I do my best to keep quiet. As I would want that respect if it were me. Ya know? I close the door, and turn the TV down and we talk in a lower voice. Its actually kinda nice. Granted its is lonely, not having anyone to talk to. I will live. I will be ok. I am used to being alone really. I was alone for 4 years decided not to be in a relationship. I enjoy being by myself but do enjoy a good conversation once in awhile. Tomorrow night, he is watching my Son while I go to a doc appt. I hope he will be ok. Trying to decide if I should take him with me or not. I know he needs his sleep. You can't function correctly on little sleep. I've seen it. I don't like the grouchiness that comes with it. Or the feeling of feeling incompetent or worthless feeling. He says we don't bother him...cause before when he was with "B"...her 7 kids were loud. But to me its a respect thing to let him get his sleep as he is the only one making money here. Its the least I could do. And he isn't getting any younger.

To everyone that works 3rd hat is off to you...cause I could not do it. No way. Wears me out thinking about it. But the funny thing, I am up when he leaves and up when he gets home...trying to make him think I don't sleep....think it will work?????? Just kidding. Hell, I passed out before 11pm last night...I was tired. Just a Well, I have some things to finish before I get to bed.

I think I forgot I had a blog.

As I said before, I just plain forget and get lazy with my blog. Can't help it. I have so much to do right now. Today, hopefully all goes well. Dawn and I are going over to Scrapaganza a new store for Scrapbooking...its awesome. I love it.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Thought i"d post.

Had a busy night with my niece and nephew...nothing like constant yelling of three kids. Whew!! Don't know how my Mom handled 4. Ugh!!!! Alot of things are happening and I am not happy right now. Not a happy camper. I had my deposition with the other guy today for his side of the story. Now there is a pre-trial hearing. Damm them people. So pissing me off right now. This guy pulls out..HITS ME...TOTALS my Car, I have 2 months of chiro care...the first two weeks were pure torture. OMG. This is a bunch of shit. ALLSTATE insurance are greedy bastards. This guy that hit me, got the freakin ticket and admitted to hitting me. What more proof do they need? I have never been in a car accident myself, ever. Then this guy pulls out, totals my car and gets away with it. No not gonna happen. It can go to trial, the jury will see in my honor. DUH...fucking allstate.

Well, not much else to say...tired and ready for bed. Boy am I tired.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Call me slow, lazy...whatever.

I don't like posting anymore. Not in the mood. Been way tooo busy scrapbooking. I heard we are to get dumped on this weekend with snow. Well, I don't want to be trapped home with nothing to do. Know what I mean? So, I've been planning out pages. Going thru old scrap pages, if you see my Flickr then you would know what I mean. Tomorrow after the BF gets here, I have to run to Rock Island and drop off papers. Then I have the kids tomorrow that means one night of not scrapbooking. I also heard about this great Scrapbooking store in town. So I talked the BF into driving there...and oh my god... I am in heaven. I am definitely going to promote this store. Absolutely wonderful. If there are any scrapbooking people who live in the Quad City Area, IL... go check this place out...
They are located on West Kimberly by the DMV. They are sooo nice. I have never walked into a store and have someone greet me the way they did. And with open arms. I went to another one located in Eldridge and she was snobby. SOOOO, I won't be back there. These ladies are so much nicer. Oh and I tried calling the one in Eldridge and could not get thru for an hour. WTF? Is that good business??? Anyhow, I am off to check emails then head to my nice warm cozy bed. So there's my "weekly" update....not...just kidding. Tomorrow is Thursday..whoo hooo!!!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Have you tried that Coke Zero?

Ok, I was hesitant into buying it. SO my BF picks up a bottle. Its dark the car, I have the regular coke. I open mine and he opens his. The funny thing...there is no difference. WEIRD as shit. So guess what my new drink is? Hay....if I can drink my coke with NO bet your ass I am. I cannot stand the taste of any diet drinks. It has that fake sugar taste. Well I have a Birthday Party today and her Momma needs help decorating the I am heading over to my Friend Alysias for awhile. Hope everyone has a great day, will post pics of the party later.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Thirteen Things about Christie

1…. I am eating Ice Cream right now....!

2. I am organizing all my Scrapbooking stuff, stickers, eyelets, paper, etc.

3. I am watching Days of Our Lives right now...

4. I have 5 cats....TWO are in heat.....UGH!!!!!

5. My Dishes are done, and so is my laundry....uh oh...the world is coming to an end.

6. I belong to one of the best forums around..... Sis-2-Sis.

7. I miss my Best Friend.....Dawn....she is about to go back to school..Yay for her.

8. I can't wait for ER

9. Its actually warm outside today...thinking of going for a walk later.

10. I am irritated with my Son's school.

11. I will eventually be putting stuff up on

12. I love taking pictures of my kitties....they love the sun.

13. Am I done yet????
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I am the happiest person in the world right now.

Why? Cause I am now able to scan scrapbooking pages and pics.......YAY!!! Thank you Steff, it works perfectly. She gave me her Lexmark X75. I already have a printer but didn't have a scanner, had one years ago and hated it. It was big and bulky, and took forever to scan photos or whatever else. I am thinking of making up an account in Flickr with just my Scrapbooking pages, ones that are personal. Only letting family see the pics, so they are on private. Cause the pages I make are very meaningful. But some of the pages, I will add to my regular flickr account. Haven't made up my mind yet, just might add the pages then have them set to private so that the people I have as friends and family can see them. Just might do I am going to sort through some of my old pics and upload them. I have some really cute pics of my Son when he was a baby. Right now I am like a little kid with chocolate....just eating this up. Still have to learn this thing...I made a booboo on scanning something it was scanned Too funny. Anyway, I downloaded the right driver for it cause there wasn't a CD with it. Works perfect.

I was suppose to put some stuff up on eBay Sunday...but procrasinated and will get it done tomorrow when NO ONE is here. I can't think when there are other people are here.

First thing tomorrow morning, I am marching my little ass over to the school and demand a meeting. They sent home a HUGE pile of homework for my Son today and a list of his grades along with missing homework. I am SUPER PISSED. I am going to ask that the teacher do his job, get all the homework that is missing and send it home tomorrow night so we can get it done ASAP. I don't care if they say its his responsibility to find it, Son isn't in the classroom for some of the classes that he is failing.....SOMETHING will be done....I don't care.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Just wanted to say....Thank you!

I want to Thank all of the ladies over at Sis-2-Sis. These ladies are the sweetest people. Where else can one go when your depressed? Happy? Scared? Sick? I know in my heart that when I need someone to talk to, they are the first place I go. I feel greatful to know them and to be apart of such a wonderful forum.

For your safety.

I've been not posting or anything. Too much going on. Going nuts.

Just got off the phone with my landlord. Things will be ok. I can't stress myself right now. I can't. Tomorrow is D-Day for all my misc. crap. Yes, I am breaking down and going thru all my "SHIT" and sellin' on eBay....YAY!!! Gotta love it. I am excited, I get use my camera and take some pics of it all. I am going to do my best to get rid of crap... I DON'T NEED. It just sits in a box in the basement. Tired of it. If I have to move, I don't want to take alot of crap again. I will have two days to go thru it all. I made a dollhouse, which I have to give it to the person I promised it too. Just get rid of it. Yes, me...wish me tons of luck. Well, going to finish watching Days. I will post a link to all the stuff on eBay after I get it posted.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Already a new year and I am slow.

At posting, I've been in bitch mode and leave me alone mode. I've hung up on people today but not intentional. Just not in the mood to deal with certain people. I know I'm terrible, I have good reason. Unless you want your ear bitched out and for me to be totally rude to you. Don't call me. Its nothing that you have done or did unless, your someone who has no freaking brain in their head and doesn't think about the consequences are....don't call me. I know I sound absolutely awful right now. I don't care. I've been so depressed lately, and lost that having PMS, doesn't really help me. It makes matters 100 times worse. I feel sorry for those who are close to me. I am doing well with my Son, its not his fault. I blame myself for everything.

Then I get a knock on the door tonight, I get to the door, and the person goes...its the POLICE....I'm thinking dam if their cute...they can frisk me all they want. Well it was my BIL saying he got me something yesterday...A NASCAR awesome. Earlier, my BF, My Son and Myself all went out to eat to one of my fave restuarants with the Gift Certificate from my Mom and Dad. Then stopped by Hobby Lobby and I got some scrapbooking paper. So I thought of a page I wanted to make. Gonna do that probably tomorrow. Well, I'm sooo tired. Even though I slept for half the day, I am still beat. PMS takes my life out of me. But somehow managed to clean my entire house, clean off the counters, did all the dishes, finished the laundry, vacuumed, and still took a 5 hour nap. Awesome....can I do it again?

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Years!!

I hope its a Happy New Years to you all. I can only hope mine will be. So much will happen to all of us. Some people will come in and out of our lives. We can only love one person truly, and that is ourself. I hope I can make it thru this year without any problems. Hope everyone had a good night.