Dear Mother Nature...

I am writing you today, to inform you that you have exactly 30 days to move out. You have caused quite a stir up in the neighborhood. You have been causing stress amongst the neighbors, the streets and my outdoor furniture. Its all frozen to the ground. I simply cannot handle the the coldness anymore. We the people here would like to have some warm weather to enjoy. Our vehicles are in desperate need of a break. My Van is in desperate need of a break from the coldness. Did I mention my Van prefers warm weather? How dare you do this to my van? So please you have exactly 30 days to either A. Move out or B. warm up finally. I may be nice and willing to give you a chance to stay if you also stop with all the SNOW!!!!