Having second thoughts.

I am sitting here thinking about my life, and how the direction its heading isn't what I am wanting. I am the only one that can change that. I am stuck in this rut and its really pissing me off that I am letting myself be stupid. I personally think that there is no one out there for ME. I am too picky of a person to just let them run over me. And I let it go on for too long. I got married too young, and when I finally realized what a mistake it was I got divorced. My Son was never a mistake or accident, he is my miracle. But I remained single for a long, long time. Then I decided to take a chance, I did love him....but I do not know when it stopped. I feel like I argue with him all the time now and it hurts me constantly. I do not know how much longer I can take this. I know, I can make my situation better but I do have a heart somewhere and I feel awful. I guess I don't know how I feel about just misplacing one.

One other thing, I refuse to marry again. Due to the fact, I have no trust in men. I personally think they are all pigs in general....except my Daddy. I don't compare anyone I date to my Dad but to my ex-husband. Why? I don't know...and I now see I shouldn't as no one compares to a PIG. He called me complaining about his passport. My first remark was, do you think its fair that you go on a cruise while you owe X amount of child support? I mean seriously, is it fair to the child? Don't get behind and the state won't take your taxes, passport and drivers license. Duh. Can you tell this is a moan post? Sorry, I guess its been building up again. I just wanted to say, that this ex-hubby of mine thinks I got pregnant on purpose/accident and all I wanted was his money. What he doesn't realize still, that I didn't marry him for his money. If that was the case, then I would of never of dated him. I mean, we waited 5 years for our Son to be born. Seriously folks, is that what a gold digger does? I think the breaking point for me was when I was staying at home with our Son and I asked for money for underwear and he straight up told me. That I didn't need to go anywhere so I don't need them. NO MAN will tell me that ever again.


Well onto a better note, Happy Birthday to a very good friend of mine Dave from work. Your a wonderful person with a great personality and lots to give to the world yet. Don't ever stop being Dave....love you like family!!!!