Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Hi..Hello there.

I am sorry, I didn't blog this morning. Where was I? Oh yeah I was with my Grandma having her Stress test. She said it was different this time. The first time she said it felt like she was going to blow up. It scared the crap out of her. But see the first time is when they found blockage and that she needed surgery right away. So I know this time is different because I know she is ok, I feel it in my heart. The last time I was doubtful and scared. Its amazing how close you can feel to one, as my Grandma I am very, very close. To know our history is almost like any other family. We went thru a time period where we didn't talk and it broke my heart every day we didn't talk. Then one day she called me and begged for my forgiveness and was sorry for not listening to me. Ever since then, I have told her no matter what I love them more than anything. No matter what, nothing will keep us apart. I am trying to spend as much time as I can with them and I spend them like there is no tomorrow. I wish I could spend the same time with my other Grandma but it seems, hope no one in particular takes this wrong. But My Other Grandma has battled cancer and won. She just can't handle kids, and I am sorry I don't leave home without my Son. So you put two and two together, I don't go over there as per my Mom she can't handle kids jumping around being normal kids as I see it. Maybe its her age but the way I see it, how is my Son ever gonna get to know her if he doesn't ever go over there? I really didn't know my Grandpa all that well and I now wish I did. I hear all these great stories about what kind of Dad he was, and I really don't remember him. And now My Son will have the same memories of his one Grandma of not really knowing her. And that hurts me to no end.

I just hope when I am old, that my Grandkids and great grandkids come around me. And want to spend time with me, after all....I want them memories taken to the grave with me.

Well I better get to cookin' some supper. I am hungry.

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