Somethings up at work.

Not sure yet, afraid to ask. But something about my Boss and the 31st being his last day. Not sure what is going on. I sure hope that its just his last day for driving up here from Peoria twice a week. Poor guy. I felt so bad. I am gonna miss him though. But that means now I have more hours somewhat. I am so stressing about that right now.

Here's a Shocker.

Someday next year, I will be taking the plunge..yet again. I feel like a failure from my first marriage and have been afraid of failing again so I have just avoided it all along. Mom, this is something you don't understand on why I haven't gotten married yet. I've felt so strongly about this, about my failing to have a successful marriage and the stress I put not only myself but my Son. But it takes two for it to fail, I know that. It takes two to make things work out. And it has to be 100% of nothing at all. Mike has been asking and asking me for over a year now and I've been putting it off. Its usually the other way around on that, the guy usually puts it off or runs away from the conversation. I did that. But with the things all totally different. I feel empty now. The truth of the matter is, my Son's Father remarried on the 18th. He always told me, he would never remarry that I scarred him for life on women. I reminded him that isn't true. He scarred me. He never stood up for me, never opened my door for me, would not get along with my family, took me far away from my family and basically abandoned me. I also reminded him that I wasn't a money hungry b*tch either in which he said NO MAN can afford me. (((Smack)))) Our wedding rings only cost us $400. I never asked for a diamond, just a wedding band. And when I got pregnant, he said it wasn't his. That hurt so bad, it hurt so bad that I drove and drove just to get away. Then he told me to hide my pregnancy from his co-workers. It was like he was ashamed of me. I guess that is how I have taken life and how it should be. So I took Mike for granted when he would open doors for me, bring me a can of Pop, or my plate of food. Or when he took care of me when I had my recent hand surgery. Or when he would sit down and wait til' I got my food and my Son's food for dinner. Now our recent conversations consist of, Our Wedding. That he wants me to have the wedding I never had. To do what I want to do, not the courthouse thing either in which my first marriage started and ended. He wants my Daddy to give me away. He wants my Family to be involved and to share our special day. He wants so much for us to enjoy our day. Never once has he mentioned his family, and I keep saying. They are just as important. He goes, Oh I know. Not worried about that. They are excited about having me as a daughter in law. But for the emptiness inside, I am the only one that can change that feeling. I've had a few rough months here and in the end. Mike has been my wall, my stand, and I really don't know how I can live without that right now. I have said things that have really bothered me in past with him, and in the end. I have to suck it up because there is more GOOD than Bad. At least he cleans the cat boxes out. LOL.

Another thing too, My Mom has been the solid rock of my life. She HAS been there thru everything. She has been the one I go too if I ever had a problem. And even though I don't spend as much time together as we should. Sometimes I can't help it, and its not because of this or that. Financially is the problem. I am overwhelmed in bills right now. Losing sleep over it. And with the basement being flooded, it really put a damper on my laundry. I hate being without laundry. I hate going to laundry mats. I spent two years taking the dang bus to the laundry mat with a 3 year old. A person can only handle so much. I think that was my lowest in my life. So losing my washer and dryer, put me in a state of depression.

Its Monday?

Wow, where does the time go? It just seems like it was just Friday and I was ready for the weekend. I should be at work but something is telling me NOT to go. Besides being uper tired. I actually thing I am going to take a quick nap here in a minute. Gonna take one of the furbabies and lay down. I didn't want to get up this morning. Too early for me to wake up. Thanks Mike!!!!

I came across a site awhile back.

And I've been checking it out here and there. But today something caught my eye. The photos this person takes are just beautiful. I love them. So when I signed into my Spicypage, I realized I have voted for him in the past. So I clicked on that site too and found out he is in a contest to be Blogger of the Year. Granted there are a couple of people out there who deserve that title, I thought I do a little voting myself for him. Here is the link, go vote for him.

Are you ready to shop for Christmas yet?

Last year I got some advice on using certain sites for Christmas shopping. In other words finding out the sales for Black Friday. But finding black friday ads can be tricky and hard to find. Unless you look in the right places. One year, I found the ad for a local store which is nationwide and found the best deal and didn't think I would get lucky enough to get it. But I managed to buy a 20" Screen FlatScreen Tv with a DVD player for under $98 at Walmart. I mean that is a bargain. And looking again at that same site there is another TV for really cheap. Since we lost one in the flood it will come in handy. And not a bad price. But one thing, sometimes the prices are off by a dollar or two. But doesn't really matter they are good deals. I don't remember having a list this early last year. But hey, I am not complaining. I entered my email on the list so I can get all the good stuff early. Maybe, just maybe we can have a good Christmas this year. Oh and when I clicked on the Best Buy one...there is a printer on there for like really cheap...OMG. Its regularly $179.99 for $19.99...um. Guess what? I might have to buy that as well. Its a All In One type of printer. I am getting excited thinking about Christmas this year. BUT...I need to buy a tree first since it was ruined in the basement flood...full of crud and crap. I actually have to buy all new Christmas stuff. I am not too happy about that. I guess I have to look at the bright side, now I have an excuse to buy all new stuff and start completely over without someone saying. Well you already have this, why do you need more? Even though its a mere 4 or 5 months away, I am taking it day by day. I will make it thru this rough patch and move on. My heart aches for everything that is lost and sitting in some landfill somewhere covered on someone else's stuff too.


This is a Courtesy of Black Friday.

Sunday Evening Edition.

Here's what and how my week has started and ended. My Son spent Mon-Weds with his Grandmother because there is no daycare and school had not started yet. So with that in mind, I worked like crazy. Well on Thursday was his first hour of school. Why do they do that? He loved it. I was waiting for how Friday would turn out. His day was good, mine wasn't so good. It seems that Lightning had struck my house sometime Thursday between the hours of 4-5pm. It hit my wireless antenna and down thru my Firewall/Router box. Well, believe it or not it did not hit my computer. So now my theory of completely unplugging everything connected to my computer will save it from being fried is correct. I think the guys were here for over 2 hours trying to get it fixed. They troubleshooted every possible aspect. On Friday, I spent some time at my Mom's work...lol. I had fun. Got to enjoy some well deserved time with her. Finally the wireless guys showed back up at work and I headed home to hopefully have internet well that is when they came and fixed it. It seems, Mother Nature was having a PMS moment when she decided to knock out a couple towers along with my internet.

I totally cleaned my house Friday, it was so clean. But now you can't even tell. I swear. I am going to hurt someone.

I feel E-Tarded half the time.

I swear since my car accident that totaled my car back in 2004 my memory has gone aloft. It seems I block out the important stuff for some reason. Maybe its something else. Who knows. Well last night we went to Michaels and I had this plaster house I was going to buy. And I totally forgot my debit card at home in my other pair of shorts. Man oh Man I felt so embarassed to have to put it back.

Don't forget to enter!!!

K8 is having a Scrapbooking contest, its so easy to sign up and hopefully win. Head on over, comment leaving your name and website. On Sept. 1st she will announce the winner!!! Go Winner!!!

My So called life with Mom at work...

Here I am sitting here, and my POOR Mother is hungry. I've been sitting here since 10ish., cause I hate being without my internet. Making me crazy.

Ok this puter is making me mad.

Its seriously messing with my head here. First my post is here then its gone. Blah...piece of ...... no words to finish that off with. I just got a call from my boss it seems one of our stores was damaged due to the "rain". Yay.

I'm here but no Internet

It seems the weather we are experiencing is wreaking havoc on everyone. SOOOO, last night my Son witness a lightning strike in our house area. Well since that time...this little girl is having a fit without her internet. YES a FIT. Meaning I am losing potential money and income for my family. Oh well, I will be ok...I HOPE. Just a little update, I will be back just as soon as they get it fixed.

Ok...argued as usual. Stinker!

Yes, he loves to argue with me and he got smart with me too. Only cause he knew I wouldn't pop him in his mouth in front of everybody. I whispered a threat into his ear and he sure shut up. It seems you threaten to take away a favorite video game and all is well.

Well, I dropped him off and went to W@lmart and got a storage container, cat food and those Ziploc Storage Bags. It seems this time of year I like to go thru clothes and sort out what doesn't fit and stuff. So that is what I am doing today AFTER I do laundry. My Goal for today is...clean, clean and oh did I mention maybe do a little cleaning? Yes my house is a mess and I taking pictures to prove it. Its making me freakin' NUTS.

First Day of 5th Grade...

And I just read thru the syllabus and omg. Book Reports...my Son hates to read and write. What the heck am I going to do? I am so torn up over this part of schooling because I, myself failed on how to do book reports. I sure hope he pays more attention in class this year and listens to the teacher. He's got the coolest teacher at his school, so I am hoping he looks up to him as a role model. But see how, with school started. The morning RITUAL of fighting begins. I depise this. He loves to argue with me and take his own sweet time getting dressed. I only going to buy him his own alarm clock and start him on waking up himself. He really needs that responsibility. I wake up at 7am during school. That leaves us an hour to get dressed and to school. School bell rings at 8:20am. Soooo, we need to work on a designated time for him to wake up and be dressed by a certain time. He really hates to listen to me. So I read somewhere if you train a child's brain who is ADHD and train to be a "Set" schedule it helps. And everything seems to run alot smoother. I am also impressed by his teacher too that he has a homework club. SWEET!!! I begged for this last year and his teacher was just too busy in her homelife to help out her students. That irritated me. I am sorry, my attitude is. If your a Full Time teacher, you should be dedicated to helping your students. My Son has a learning defiancy where, and what he reads. He doesn't comprehend the meaning or where its going. I had that same problem when I was in school. Soo, off to school we go now.

Did someone leave the oven on?

I swear its 500 degrees outside. I know its nothing compared to the desert but still its freakin' hot outside. I went into work early this morning, like 7am. Yep that's early for me. But I managed to get over 9 hours in today. So that is cool. Now for the rest of the week I have to do the same but don't know how. Because its only an hour of school tomorrow...ACK!! No Sitter. So I guess I will see what happens.

Blah, Blah, Blah

School starts here in two days. I know I am excited but I know my Son isn't. He's wanting to stay out of school forever, but we all know that isn't gonna happen. But I do have a funny story. See his Father got married on Saturday. Congratulations to the "Happy Couple". I am so pleased to see he took that step yet again and I didn't corrupt him from being happy. Yay! Well, our Son decided to be a pain in the behind. No problem...because see my Son has this issue that if its not about him then he will do anything to make you upset. Wonder where that comes from? Well, during the reception I guess a kitten caught his eye outside. Let me remind you it was Saturday Night outside an American Legion and the highway wasn't too far away I guess. Well, my Wonderful Son chased this kitten for an hour climbed underneath vehicles and "HID" from this Father. Panic was sent thru the hall as they looked and looked for him. My Ex MIL got so worried she was shaking. They are lucky they didn't call me as I would of went off the boat completely and snapped on his Father. I am sorry, I don't care what day it is. I will always keep an eye on my Son. That is my JOB and my RESPONSIBILITY. Well my Son decides to come walking back in the door just out of the blue. And people were so worried about him. Well yeah, cause what if one of those vehicles would of left and ran my Son over? OMG...the thought alone sent chills thru my spine. Because not only would it of been his Wedding day but also the day of his death. Because that is my Son too and I have fought to raise him every single day since June 11, 1997. I am not about to lose what I have now. This post is in no way of promoting violence, just speaking my mind about my dear precious Son. Which by the way is at his Grandma's til' tomorrow. Only because I have to work and earn some of that green stuff.

Have you heard of Smorty?

I did awhile back and actually forgot about it til' today. I got home and found that I was accepted. So cool!! Smorty is actually a site that links blog advertising to your blog to post reviews and other exciting things. Based on your PageRank and the Smorty Scoring System you can earn from the minimum of $6.00 upwards to $100 based on your review of sites. Most blogs are approved or rejected within 72 hours. One thing though, like with any business your blog must be a clean blog which means no adult stuff, violence and or anything of the negative nature. I have that same motive, if a company has a history of that stuff then I stay away. Couple more of the requirements are that your blog must be at least 3 months old...like a baby. And must...must be indexed by Google. Which that is real easy to, it takes about a week or so but it does work. I was surprised how fast I had gotten a PR once I did the indexing.

You get paid on a weekly basis unlike other places, which is really not bad either. It doesn't bother me either way. As long as you a have a PayPal address for money to be sent to you, and see I have a PayPal Card so its even better its instant money for me. You can have as many blogs as you want, some places have a limit but not Smorty and that is awesome. Because now in the future I can add some more blogs. I am in no hurry though. To me its all a learning experience and excited now that I get to enjoy Smorty!!!!

Where did this heat come from?

Its been rainy for the past couple of days and the weather has been just beautiful. Well, I overheard someone wish for some Sun...and I bout knocked them on their noggin and handed them a V8. Well here it is on Tuesday and hotter than a motha out there. I wore jeans to work today thinking it was going to be crappy weather. (Smack) I've never had to peel my jeans off or my shirt and undergarments. I could actually ring out my shirt. That's just nasty in itself. But the upside is, I bet I lost a few pounds. Whoot!! Best exercise itself right?

Gotta try it!

Back on July 6th, I read a post from a fellow blogger about trying a sample of Gloves in a Bottle. Well, I rec'd my package about 2 weeks later and I decided to try it before I blogged about it. I wanted to see if there was a difference or not. Let me tell you, OMGoodness. Its been a amazing difference. I have on my left hand this dry scaly looking patch on my knuckles. I have tried everything under the sun. NO LUCK. Well, I tried this for about a week and its been GONE...did you read that...GONE! I am estatic. I've always been afraid to ever get married. Cause you know when they take pictures of your rings it would show my lizard skin. Ewe. Well, I don't have to worry no more. I also have been using it at work, as I work with water and stuff. It helps believe it or not. I am not sure if they are still offering samples or not but if anyone is interested to let me know and I will send you the information.

Phew!!!!

Took a nice long hot bath, and relaxed. I worked my bum off today. I know I should everyday but I did today...literally. It was dragging so bad...my bum that is that I had to take a nice long hot bath and then a shower to rinse. See at my work, is a Garden Center for a Nationwide Home Improvement store. I am only a vendor, which means I am my own boss most of the time and my Boss comes in a couple times a week to check up on me and make sure I am doing my job. So far, no complaints. Whoot! Well we have a new planogram (plat O gram) is what we call it. And everything, I mean everything is getting switched out and around. Between the both of us today, we managed to make this HUGE dent and got alot of stuff moved around and it looks soooooo much better. So now tomorrow I go to the other store and do the same. Someday this week I'll post pictures of what I do. Its so much fun. But so boring at the same time. We are like scavengers when the trucks come in...its a free for all and a good fight on who gets to put it away.

Busy day.

I have so many things to do today its not even funny. But wanted to let everyone know that the video below is how I have been feeling about things. Its not pointed towards anyone. I like the beat of the music and the story behind the song is what made me really like listening to it. Not everyone likes the person singing but I have watched her grow into a beautiful woman. I don't know if anyone remembers Kids Inc. back in the eighties??? She was on there. So yeah I've been listening to her sing for a long time.

I need a huge bottle of Tylenol.

I am fighting this headache like there is no tomorrow. I cannot figure out why its been bugging the sh*t out of me. I know part of its stress. Under quite a bit right now but still. I am not getting the proper amount of sleep either. Worried about alot of things is keeping me up. So tonight, I am trying something totally new. In BED by 9pm. Meaning, laying down and resting my eyes.

No news on the Adjuster from the insurance either. They said it can take awhile. Which I am sure it is and will. It took less than 5 minutes for my life to literally go down the drain but in order to get it all back is taking months. Its been 45 days I think. That is a long time to have to go to the laundry mat twice a week. Billion dollars later, and hours wasted sitting in a laundry mat is not my ideal of fun. I am used to having time while my laundry is washing to do dishes, clean house, vacuum. Now I have NO NO NO NO energy to do my housework. I am literally worn down and thin. What is wrong with me?

No need to be alone for this.

This post is for a certain person. No Matter what, you need to remain strong and be better not only for yourself but for your children as well. Only you can make the right choices and decisions in life. In life, God gives us these little tests to see how strong we really are. And boy do I know those tests. The more recent one being my basement. And numerous things happening around that day. Won't go into details but the thing is. Right now, you need to make the right choices. If you don't feel strongly about it, then don't do it. You must feel strong about any decision you make. When it comes down right to it, our parents won't always be there for us. I don't look forward to that day. Like you, I love my Mom and my Dad. Same as you. It don't matter what has happened in the past, we all must look forward to the future. Because we can't change history but we sure can change our futures. Ask yourself where do you want to be ONE year from now? Give yourself a goal and stick to it. I have a goal. I had a few speed bumps, went around a few but I am working to get to that goal.

Just remember too, your parents will always be there. Sometimes it might not feel like it or things are said to make you think otherwise. Just make the right choices is all they want you to do. Maybe think of it like this, you want to be better than the situation. Do you want to put yourself in a bad situation and something happen to the kids? I honestly don't think you would ever do that but things do happen. And it happens for a reason. Today should be a great to start making positive decisions and making the best for yourself. Buy a whole bunch of V8, and knock yourself in the head before you do or say anything you don't feel strongly about.

I hope you don't take this post in a negative manner, its not intended for that at all. Its to help you maybe think about how you want to live life. By staying positive and strong.

BTW, you didn't happen to see Dog The Bounty Hunter late last night about the Girl whose Boyfriend hung himself right after writing a letter saying he wanted to revoke his ties to her bond. And how his Mother forgave that girl, and told her in order to get her life straight she needs to come clean. I cried so hard because I have never seen Beth, Dog, Youngblood and the other dude cry like that. For that Mother to forgive this girl, who was a apart of her Son's life took alot of heart. But its amazing to see that people are strong. She also told her, that she will always be her daughter in law. In the letter he said, that he thought she was someone he could settle down with. I cried because he thought the pain was much more than that to take his own life. But he loved her. Man did I cry....lol. Here is the LINK for that episode. Its named The Last Call....I know sounds humble but it was a real wake up call for some.

I am going to work today for a couple of hours....I need money.

OMG.

I know I am so prone to ear infections and sinus infections. I am currently fighting a sinus infection. I can feel it coming on, the pressure in my face is killing me. The headache itself is horrendous. Not sure what to do either. Because when one has a sinus infection they want it to run its course. Well this little girl and running the course will cause me to lose work and that means NO money. I can't afford that. With the way things are going right now its not even funny. I know too its causing alot of stress and that could be contributing to my headaches.


So if anyone called me today and I was bitchy and short with you....now you know why.

Blog Surfing and I found this...

I love to surf blogs, just to see what total strangers are blogging about. And I came across this site:




I am a scrapbooking Fanatic. I can't help it. I love it. Even though with my recent water issues and the flooding of my basement, I lost alot of stuff. Not that it really put a dent in my stash but at least now I can start with a new stuff. Whoot. I love shopping for new stuff.

I am so behind on blog reading..

That I totally missed this from Jill on July 12th. I cannot believe I did that. I think with everything that has happened since July 4th, my mind has been in a blur and disbelief. You know the kind of not wanting to believe that something has just happened to you. But Jill had given me my very first blog award....



So here I am awarding these people, who are just as awesome as Jill is. Thank you Jill!!!

My Yesterdays

Alysia "I can play peekaboo!"

My Single Mom Life

Steffanie----in which keeps her life private. I respect that....;)


Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!!

I hate shopping for Car Insurance.

But its a State requirement for everyone and its something that I have come to find out is very important to have. Finding Auto Insurance is very important to me, learning from experience in the past and more recently. I just found out yesterday that one of my Best Friends was in a serious car accident last Friday which was my birthday. It totally broke my heart to hear about it and I've been so upset and tearing myself apart for not being there for her. If she would of called me, I would of dropped whatever I was doing to be there. I am greatful she is ok, but her car is totaled. Talking, the motor is where her radio normally would sit. The car buckled up in the middle so the seats are leaning outwards are both sides. Her door would not opened so they used the jaws of life to get her out. Thank goodness they both are ok. Her 4 year old daughter went up to the man that hit them and asked him, Why he hit her Mommy? Why he hit them and make them hurt? Pretty smart 4 year old in my book.

So while I've been home, I been searching for the best insurance, and Advantage Auto Quotes was pretty easy to navigate and they set you up or match you up with insurance companies. There were only a couple of screens and questions to answer, just like if you went to a insurance agency. I sent mine in, and it was actually cheaper than the place I called today about. I am also including Renter's Insurance with the Water Backup plan. I am tired of losing stuff due to other people's mistakes and me having to pay for it all. Its totally not right. I can't stress it enough, sometimes insurance companies don't stress what isn't covered. Like Flood damage isn't unless you have that rider and in a flood plain. In my case, I live on top of a hill. Not a flood plain. But having the Water Backup damage plan is something I know I can feel safe with. Thinking about getting the sewer pump plan too. My family possessions is worth so much.

***Update***

On Thursday, the insurance adjuster is coming to my house to assess the damage that was done and on everything I lost. Needless to say, I've been studying my pictures into what I have lost and what was damaged. I am nervous yet excited that maybe I can get some closure on some things here. Wish me luck.

My life is more important than someone else's stupidity.

I only say that because of what has happened to me in the past month. It was a pretty shitty birthday at that. On June 12th, the city decided to put a overlay on our main road. No biggie right? Well, around July 1st, the construction company decided to do something with the storm drains/sewer or whatever it was. Left a BIG hole in the road. We were told the whole project would take a week. Well, almost a month later on July 4th, in the early morning hours. We had a storm. No Big Deal. The problem with that is, with the road construction it caused major backups into peoples basements. I, myself had 3 feet of water. I also had alot of stuff in the basement that meant alot to me. Now why I had stuff down there is. There isn't alot of room for storage here. Two closets. And we have never had water in the basement ever in the time I lived here. If there was water, it was a tiny stream. I am talking tiny. The landlord totally freaked out on how much water there was. She didn't see what I went thru. I had 15 years of my life, in boxes and plastic totes. Which by the way, doesn't work in that amount of water. My basement is HUGE. I am talking the entire length of my house and width. That is alot of water. Well, it also ruined the Hot water heater and furnace.

Our local newspaper and two tv stations ran stories not only on me but 83 other people who were affected because of this road construction. Its just a coincidence, that the majority of the people affected are in one general area. It also flooded my Son's grade school. In the newspapers, people can be really negative and tell us. It was an Act of God and get over it. It might of been an Act of God but please tell me why they found brick, sand,gravel and other construction debris in the storm drains? I still don't see that being an Act of God. Right now, there are alot of people filing claims with the construction companies insurance company. But what to my understanding is, why are they wanting to send a adjuster to my house to access the damage if they have to file a investigation into what has happened? Wouldn't they do the investigation then send the adjuster out? Who knows, I am confused.

But what I am asking is that I get some input from others who have gone thru similiar situations and what their outcome was. My problem I have is, our insurance company will not cover as did not have "flood" insurance. It was not a option living on top of a hill, so its not covered. Even renters insurance wouldn't cover it. Does not even give me an option to pay extra for it. So see, basically I am stuck in a rut. I simply cannot wait to find out what will happen.

Everyday, since July 4th. Yes July 4th. I have prayed for the Katrina Victims more recently. And to all other Flood Victims as well. In order for me to make it thru this rough time, I am finding the stories of surviving thru something so near and dear that helps me cope. I have been extremely depressed and find myself sleeping alot. Because of everything that has happened. I also have a 10 year old Son who also lost alot of his toys. Why were his toys in the basement you might be asking? He got into trouble, and I know he is afraid of the basement. So I took his toys away, a move I deeply regret to this day. He has went with his Dad on that very day so he would not have to watch me throw everything away. But what I didn't know is, when he would come home that he would go out and start digging thru stuff to find his toys. He cried, and cried because his toys were gone. I can't imagine what a child feels losing his possessions at such a young age.

If anyone can give me some light, whether its positive or negative its fine. I can handle it. I just want what is best for me and my Son. I am now starting to save my money from PayPerPost to buy a new washer and dryer if things don't work out.